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Joy

I will See into the fire....
I will Breathe into the fire
then
I will leap into the fire
And watch my valleys of doubt burn away...
There was a time I was so numb, I didn’t even know I had self-destructed. Other
people’s feelings were an obvious casualty of my self-preservation. Yet the more
defensive I was, the more defensive I needed to be. None who walk in darkness, even if
unintentionally, know much peace. Our True Soul shines through. And if it needs to, it
will burn through.
My most joyful epiphany was a night of remorse, self-hatred, and blinding, searing
illumination. I had unwittingly made a gamble with my life and the stakes were
uncompromising: either change-and change A LOT, or refuse change and disappear
into a valley of insanity....
Grace Herself gave me the most beautiful and painful gift that night. With glaring
impact, I was given a stark, objective vision of what kind of person all my choices had
made out of me. Lying on a dirty, beer-stained floor, tears streaming into my ears, a
consoling and compassionate Being gave comfort to my grief and she began to sing.
To me.
Why me?
Because I am special.

Why am I special?

Because every being is precious.
...And for the most pivotal, important moments of my life...I believed it.
Through every part of my being, a sweet clarity poured in. I opened up my broken
heart, my ragged spirit; drank with an unquenchable thirst and stood up a new
woman. I had questions firing off in my mind three at a time and for a few blissful
hours, they were all answered.
What is the meaning of life?
To love being alive, no matter what.
There are an infinite number of ways to unlock our spiritual portholes. In a thin,
unclean alley of my mind, I had crashed through a back door to clairsentience. The
guides there to greet me were also there to firmly explain that now the real work was
to begin. The door that got me to this moment was destroyed and the only paths back
required Love and Integrity.
So I began to tend my inner garden, choked with weeds of insecurity and despondency,
gradually learning its most vital nutrient is joy.
How to find joy?
The question is how do we miss it?
It’s in dragonflies, the hugs of a child, wandering an unknown path, Northern lights,
lavender...it is this very moment.
Joy is a result of gratitude.
Joy is infinite, a fountain of faith.
The more joy one seeks, the more joy one finds.
My path is a path of Light. It didn’t exactly begin that way.
But I know it will end that way.
What is different?
What is different is that I am Breathing.
I inhale the promise, the anticipation of Life itself.
And I have the privilege of exhaling optimism and hope to every person I meet.
I am Joy.

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